Perry Slaughter : December 2012
            

I hope you're all having a lovely holiday.

I'm here to make your Christmas just a bit more colorful, with a cozy little story I wrote a few years ago, and which my less savory associate Mr. William Shunn deigned to record for me a few years ago.

So pile another log upon the fire, gather the family around, turn up the volume on your streaming media device, and attend to my sweet seasonal tale — "Jolly St. Nick Is Dead, Alas."

Changing with the times

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Last time I looked at a facebook was at that plastic surgeon's in Thailand. But you can find me there now, for better or probably worse.

Tweeting

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I was microblogging before microblogging existed. We called it writing on the bathroom wall.

Hermit

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Call me a pop-culture idiot, but I thought Britney Spears was a male porn star from northwest France.

Walk a mile

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It's too bad someone can't rape Todd Akin or Paul Ryan and get them pregnant.

Thanks

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I'll never forget the day you gave me your heart. Thank God for that car accident.

            

I'm not necessarily proud of this, but since I've taken money from Sinister Regard I suppose I have a contractual obligation to let you know that my 1986 novella Chairman of the Board is back in print.

Perry Slaughter Sometime next year I expect it'll be available for downloading on that Kindling thing you all seem to be using to put independent booksellers out of business, but until then you can get the hardcover version here. On a whim, my publishers have discounted it by 25%. Hurry before they mark it back up on another whim.

Here's what they have to say about this dumb little book:

Though a major chess and computer nerd, Sam Pauling has nonetheless managed to score a date with Kate Fitzhugh, the most beautiful girl at school. The budding romance is barely off the ground, however, before Sam finds himself caught up against his will with the local party crowd and their decadent entertainment of choice — a ouija board with a particularly nasty sense of humor. When a moment of temptation leaves the occult device in his possession, Sam learns to his horror that every slope is slippery and all morality relative, and that even a newly popular "chairman of the board" has no right to expect a happy ending to his life story...

Decried as "nihilistic pornography" when it first appeared over a quarter-century ago, this stylish and long-unavailable classic of '80s cult horror has at last been rescued from obscurity to sow its corruption amongst a new generation of readers.

And hold onto your hats, because Sinister Regard has two more of my books in the pipeline. (Which must hurt. Ouch.)

Hope

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I believe that children are our future. And that we're fucked.

The Accidental Terrorist 30th Anniversary Sale

Signed editions
cheaper than your
local Mormon
missionaries.

Order yours now!

Who? What?

Perry Slaughter is the reclusive author of such cult works of horror and sci-fi as Chairman of the Board, Deus ex Machina, and more. His passions include vinyl records, scotch whisky, and high-seas piracy.

Perry Slaughter

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