Cleanup
I never forget a face. If I absolutely have to ice somebody, I always remember to take it with me.
I'm not kidding!
October 30, 2007
October 29, 2007
Forensics
Judging from the traces they leave, people seem to be at their worst in public restrooms.
October 28, 2007
Mission accomplished
By my count, by pursuing an ill-considered and illegal preemptive war, President Bush and his accomplice Congress have now murdered more Americans than the 9/11 terrorists did, not to mention the untold Iraqi civilian casualties. Congratulations, traitors, and God help us all.
October 27, 2007
Bushes
Never trust a librarian who marries a man who doesn't read.
October 26, 2007
John the Baptist
Living on nothing but locusts and honey doesn't impress me. Try Sterno and cardboard sometime, chump!
October 25, 2007
Slipstream
It sounds less like a genre of fiction and more like what happens when you fart and get more than you bargained for.
October 24, 2007
Jesus saves
But even He's gonna weep fat baby tears if He doesn't also remember to back up.
October 23, 2007
Insomnia
I have trouble sleeping while there are children starving in my city. Why can't they be quieter about it?
October 22, 2007
Box office
Yes, I chose Bush over Gore, but I thought the question was late-night cable.
October 21, 2007
Illiteracy campaign
Teach a child to read and that's just more royalties for Dr. Phil.
