Pith | Perry Slaughter

Pith : Page 3

Jesus saves

But even He's gonna weep fat baby tears if He doesn't also remember to back up. read

Insomnia

I have trouble sleeping while there are children starving in my city. Why can't they be quieter about it? read

Box office

Yes, I chose Bush over Gore, but I thought the question was late-night cable. read

Illiteracy campaign

Teach a child to read and that's just more royalties for Dr. Phil. read

How I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb

I bought one. read

Refreshing

When life gives you lemons, extract the citric acid and spray it in life's eyes. read

Motion

It's not the size of the boat—it's the whammo of the ammo. read

Gee, Rocky

Squirrels rule the early morning streets. I have to pay a tribute of Cheetos just to retrieve my paper from the stoop unmolested. Damn those orange-pawed monsters! read

Jammed keys

I have an intimate relationship with my typewriter. That makes it difficult to keep the roller clean. read

To do

My life pretty much depends on making a to-do list, but I kept forgetting to put it on my to-do list. read

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Perry Slaughter