October 2007 : Page 2

Refreshing

When life gives you lemons, extract the citric acid and spray it in life's eyes.  read

Motion

It's not the size of the boat—it's the whammo of the ammo.  read

Gee, Rocky

Squirrels rule the early morning streets. I have to pay a tribute of Cheetos just to retrieve my paper from the stoop unmolested. Damn those orange-pawed monsters!  read

Jammed keys

I have an intimate relationship with my typewriter. That makes it difficult to keep the roller clean.  read

To do

My life pretty much depends on making a to-do list, but I kept forgetting to put it on my to-do list.  read

Eat nothing but potato chips and still lose weight!

I call it the Horse Latitudes Diet. It worked for me. Just limit yourself to two per day.  read

Scars

It's no accident my voice sounds like this. It's takes a special kind of man to get a brand on his vocal cords.  read

Horizons

I hate flying. I have ever since my father threatened to let go of the kite string.  read

Piping hot

Children are terrific. Especially with a nice pomegranate glaze.  read
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Who? What?

Perry Slaughter is the reclusive author of such cult works of horror and sci-fi as Chairman of the Board, Deus ex Machina, and more. His passions include vinyl records, scotch whisky, and high-seas piracy.

Perry Slaughter